UNDER CONSTRUCTION, RESTORED BY GRACE

Under Construction, Restored by Grace is a photo series that depicts the beginning of healing that is often destructive. It’s a moment that can easily feel like everything around you is crumbling but if you lean in, it can actually become a new beginning. 

Thank you to TX Studio for allowing me to create this piece in your incredible space as a Summer 2022 Creative Resident.

The concept for this shoot was birthed from my own journey of healing through my faith in God. It began with a moment that felt like a hard blow to the reality I was so comfortable living in. For the first time, I was forced to take a hard look at the person I was. To essentially wake up and truly see things for what they were. As I faced my reality it became very clear that the only reason I’m still standing right now is by God’s grace.

One day as I was driving in my car home, I felt the Lord say, “Under construction, built by grace.” I knew at that moment that I was the thing under construction. What felt like crumbling was actually a process that started to make room for who I was created to be. It was through vulnerability that I was able to see God’s grace and love expressed through the people around me. Forcing me to learn that healing doesn’t happen in isolation and that it’s okay to be a work in progress. The support and care that I felt encouraged me to finally let the walls of this identity I created to be torn down. I felt supported and cared for as He started to do the work within me. 

In most situations when I feel like I’ve heard the Lord, I tend to fall into self-doubt and think myself out of it. However, with this word, the Lord would not let self-doubt creep in. That following Sunday, May 15th, 2022, at church, Raven Vincent gave a word about being God’s Masterpiece. 

Her word felt like a direct confirmation that I heard the Lord. Raven shared, “And I keep seeing ruins and it’s like the Lord is saying, you’re looking at yourself and your life as if it’s in ruins and all you see is ruins, and the Master, the Restorer, is going ‘perfect. That’s where I want you. So I can build. You’re seeing ruins and I’m seeing my perfect plan.’ All you have to do is look above the ruins and see the Master.”

When I looked up to find the Master, I found Him breaking down old things that have been holding me back from truly experiencing Him. Healing some things that don’t represent Him in me. Then restoring things that I lost during the building of the false walls I lived behind. Walls that were built through anxiety, depression, self-doubt, insecurity, hyper-independence, poor decisions, and more. What felt like everything was starting to fall apart, it was really a beginning.

Vulnerability is not always easy to achieve. It takes the right people to make you feel safe enough to let your guard down. They can be found all around us through therapy, community, and sometimes even family. I wanted to incorporate sisterhood into this series because it was one of the places where I found safety to crumble.

When I look at true sisterhood it’s a great example of what love truly looks like. Not just celebrating and affirming you but also pushing you to become better and sitting with you through the process. They’re often the ones that can pull out portions of yourself that you forgot existed. Bringing to life who you truly are. 

This photo series would not have been created without the people around me. Partnering with others forced me to get out of my head and let people into a space that felt very personal. It required me to be open in a situation where I would usually find comfort in isolation. Through it, I saw even more of the true support, love, and care that surrounded me. Which is another expression of God’s love through His people. For the first time, I felt at peace with asking for help and knowing that I can’t do everything on my own. Then feeling the joy of knowing that I don’t have to do everything on my own. 

I hope that when you look at the photos you are reminded that you were created for a purpose and it’s okay to be in a place where you’re still trying to figure it all out. Each day has its own challenges and healing takes time. But have hope that God is still moving. In all honesty, it’s better to be under construction, allowing the Lord to finish what He started with the expectation that wholeness is coming rather than living in a false identity of perfection. 

Thank you to Jamyn Vincent for your hard work and creativity in bringing to life the set pieces.

Thank you to my girls Bria and Brittney for being a part of this shoot, having you both as the subjects made this project even more special.